Lost Mother’s Club Little Legacy 34

I’ve put the linky back this week, the point of Little Legacy was to offer a space to reflect.  It’s Mother’s Day this weekend, I can think of people who might want to honour their mum’s little legacies.

No one really tells you how hard it is to be a parent.  I’ve found it pretty tough and many times I’ve wrongly assumed that was down to me.   Recently, Dad dispelled the myth that mum found it easy. I had always, as children do, presumed she was super-SAHM-woman.   As a parent I was so grateful for the news that it got her down too, as a daughter it’s made me so unbelievably appreciative of all those minutes, hours and days of love, patience and creativity that Mum showed me and my brother, especially when she was fed up and frustrated with being a SAHM.

Like my mum I taught until I had kids, and like my mum I am finding the process of trying to change career and return to work frustrating.  I realise I am in a very similar place to where my mum was, so little time, kids still so small, a husband who works away, about to move house, scrabbling about to find flexible childcare, all things conspiring against anything other than freelance bits and bobs and working from home. Working mums have of course told me how fabulous this sounds, but being at home all week, and finding the kind of writing work that doesn’t involve payment in peanuts, is driving me crackers.

I look at my mum and I think she carved out a great second, or arguably third, career as a playtherapist.  Like Mum I’ve kept sane as a SAHM studying, and reflecting on making the right change, something I’m grateful for. Mum made a real difference as a playtherapist and was well respected for what she did.  It gives me hope I am on the right path, and that I will overcome the obstacles in my way (probably with more nights out, gin, plus long shopping trips and walks to get me out of house).

Talking to Dad also made me appreciate my kids even more, and remember that ‘good enough’ parenting is the goal.  Happy Mother’s Day, our legacy as parents is really rather huge. Onwards and upwards.

Little legacy is a remembrance project , a positive and creative space, to celebrate small things handed down by inspiring people. Feel free to link up any little legacy you’ve been thinking about this week, or to leave one in the comments. Here’s the code and here’s more on Little Legacy

@AResidence

 

19 thoughts on “Lost Mother’s Club Little Legacy 34

  1. I love that photo. I also love the post and empathise on so many levels. You express the frustration of our current position so very well. I could have written much of this post myself but not as well.
    My Dad also helps me know Mum better. Perhaps our Mums like us felt a need to keep up appearances with their daughters. Like you, I welcome understanding her reality a bit better through my Dad.
    Not sure what to write about yet as have many ideas but will link up. Remember this is a club that people will continue to join so if you can bear it, stick with the linky.
    Kate recently posted…How Am I Getting On?My Profile

  2. It’s an honour to share a page with you. Keep going string. Your mum, and mine, would be proud of whatever you do and seek only your happiness. 6 years on and I miss my Mum more than words can say, but she remains my inspiration for what I do (www.SaveEveryStep.com) and for the mother I hope I am.

  3. Thanks for sharing this, I should have more of a look at the linky thing.

    I love the ‘good enough’ parenting tag, and isn’t it so very often you feel in chaos when others think you are doing a great job?

  4. Pingback: I ain’t dead yet « SaveEveryStep – family stories past & present

  5. Thanks for this thoughtful and heartfelt post. It’s so important as parents to recognise our fallibility and also to know that those we thought did it so expertly had their struggles too.

    I know where you are with the whole juggling freelance and stay at home thing and trying to make it all make some financial sense. I think you’re doing an excellent job with the space you’ve managed to carve for yourself online while being with the kids. So give yourself a pat on the back, even if you’re not there yet, you’re on the way for sure!
    Babes about Town recently posted…Disney on Ice: Princesses and Heroes (Babes Review)My Profile

  6. You say it so beautifully. And you have inspired me: I’ve felt mother’s day looming and tried to not think about it, but I think I need too. I shall link up shortly xxx

  7. Yet again you mirror my life. I’ve always wondered whether my mum found parenthood difficult. I don’t think she struggled with being a SAHM in the same way that I do. In fact she must have enjoyed it on some level as she was a childminder for years.
    I’m not convinced that if I asked my dad he would remember.
    Will link up soon – I have a post in draft that I wasn’t happy with I’ll go back to it and tweak it.
    Mothers day along with new year are tough for me. This year will be the first year I won’t be visiting mum’s grave on mothers day but my thoughts will be there.

    • Yes, my mum was a primary teacher and then a play therapist so def had more patience with little ones than I ever needed as a secondary teacher. My dad can never remember when I ask about specific things, only when it comes to him via something else!
      Thinking of you and I know, I wish I was nearer to where mum’s ashes are so i could be there more often too. Big hugs.
      The Alexander Residence recently posted…Lost Mother’s Club Little Legacy 34My Profile

  8. i also love love that photo. i am dreading sunday, just as i am dreading 17th april. Too many anniversaries coming up and I’m missing my mum more and more as each day goes by. It is so hard. Thank you for reminding me to remember the great things she taught me.

    M2Mx
    hpretty recently posted…My writing soul: is it goodbye?My Profile

  9. Wonderful post and so lovely to hear that we don’t have to be supermum at all times-love that your Dad advised to be ‘good enough’-such wise words.

    I am juggling freelance work and looking after Oliver everyday and yes I have a lot of support from family if I need to be on set or lecturing which makes the world of difference but looking him is in fact the hardest job of all. It sounds like you have a lot of big life events happening: moving house, husband away so please be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much or everything right now. You can have it all and are succeeding but I truly believe things take time and we often put the most pressure and ‘unrealistic pressure’ on ourselves when many too mant things are going on. Perhaps it’s the subconscience’s way of distracting us and being cruel to ourselves at the same time! Getting out and having some ‘you time’ is just what you need x

  10. I think good enough parenting is a great phrase too. No-one or nothing is perfect and actually I am quite happy living knowing that :-)

    Whilst I was on my hands and knee’s today I was thinking about you (now don’t get excited ;-) !) I was scrubbing the floor the old fashioned way reasoning that if us women stayed at home and did jobs, fed our children and husbands and that was our role in life perhaps the world would not be in the mess it is in.

    Lots more men would have work, children would have all the nurturing they need and I am ducking ready for the clout around my head!!!

    Yep, nothing is perfect!!! xxxxxxxx
    Ali recently posted…Love and hate of declutteringMy Profile

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